I rewatched Vincent and the Doctor last night and while I'm sure it isn't for everyone, to me this episode is a really special one that I really appreciate now I'm older.
It tackles depression, an issue that I don't believe any other episode, at least directly, ever addresses. As someone who has suffered from much less severe problems of poor mental health, but problems nonetheless, I can really relate to the portrayal of Vincent van Gogh in this and I wanted to take a moment to note just how realistic it is. Depression manifests itself somewhat differently for different people so it may not have rung true for everyone who's ever been in a similar situation but it did for me and I know it did for others too. The sudden changes in mood, the inability to accept or ask for help, the isolation and feelings of being a social outcast, the fear of abandonment from those you do still have, your mind highlighting the negatives whenever presented with positives. You'll notice the episode never gives you a cause for Vincent's depression - there's no traumatic event that triggers it, it's just there. And that's so accurate too because the deterioration of mental health is a gradual thing fuelled by the smallest things and it's so hard to pinpoint one moment or reason for it.
And perhaps most heartbreakingly, the Doctor and Amy re-enthuse Vincent with joy and a love for life through the best day of his life, but you can't break the cycle through just one good day - it takes constant work over a really long period of time, and you need that sort of help on hand regularly. The Doctor and Amy add to his pile of good things, a commendable achievement, but they can't fix depression in one 45 minute adventure and Vincent still ends up choosing to end his life. It's a positive message that there is good to be found and loved even in the hardest of lives, but a realistic one that there is no quick fix.
It's all very real, to me at least, and I think it can be hard to understand that when watching it (I certainly didn't really when I was younger) unless you've been through it or know someone who has.
The main thing I wanted to highlight though is the key message of the episode that I think is beautiful, and so true, and so very Doctor Who. Vincent van Gogh turned his pain into beauty through his paintings. Those negative emotions created them. It's a simple message: pain can create. Expression of emotions is what drives the creation of the most wonderful things, and that expression can be writing, drawing, painting, making videos, creating music, building tools and objects, designing, bringing together communities, etc. The more powerful the emotion, the more powerful the product of it, and pain is a very powerful emotion. Creative expression isn't a cure, Vincent still committed suicide, but it's an outlet that helps him live as long as he did and gives him not just a distraction, but a purpose, and leaves a legacy that improves the life of others for centuries after he's gone. Something I often found I faced in my own struggles was a feeling that I wasn't and never would improve anyone else's life through mine - this episode shows how little you appreciate the huge positive impact you have on other people when you live in the cloud of depression, and when Vincent's in the museum, for a second we get a glimpse of what it's like to see through that cloud and realise.
And I love this episode for that.
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